Happy Jew Year

My family has its problems. We've got divorces, rivalries, enemies, racists, drama queens, gays, homophobes, hippies, red necks, millionaires, crazies, and a whole lot more. Tonight, being the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanna, I went to my dads brothers house. The past two nights were with my mom.

My mom has been dating Phil on and off for about 4 years now, if not more. One of his sons is 18 and autistic. He and I don't really talk much when he is around but he is a nice kid. Anyways, we are eating dinner and hes in the TV area and we just hear the phone noise, like when you dial a wrong number. It keeps happening and Phil keeps telling him to put his phone away. Jordan keeps saying he isn't doing anything but I guess didn't realize we could hear the dial tones. So finally Phil had to take his phone back and explained to us that Jordan loves politics and his favorite people are Lou Dobbs and Larry King. He constantly calls them on the phone to talk. He thinks their numbers are 1-800-Lou-Dobbs and 1-800-Larry-King.

Tonight, surprisingly was tame for a Meyers shindig. The most drama was caused by my aunt's boyfriend. This man has caused so much stress in our family it blows my mind how he is still around. He is definitely on pills for sure, who knows if there are other things. But he is burnt out of his mind as well. He's rude, aggressive, and creepy. My cousin and aunt have the worst relationship because of him. People become hostile and uncomfortable when he is in a room. They just cant help it and he just doesn't give a shit. He is so immature that tonight, after a dinner of rude comments, he walks in on my aunt showing my other aunt photos online from her trip to the Andes and saw a photo flash that he didn't like of himself. He literally screeched 'fuck' and storms out of the house saying he will be int he car. He comes back in a minute later, complains to my 14 year old cousin who lives there and was watching TV that he cant watch the sports game, goes back into the computer room, yells a bit more at my aunt, and then storms out saying he was leaving and he left. Cool life. Apparently he isn't like this around anyone else but us. I find that hard to believe.

We were all discussing how there was really only one time he was in the right to throw a hissy fit but even then, the way he did it was crap. My dad lives on a block that is overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Therefore, it is surrounded by canals. Canals that flood when there is a storm. Rewind to 2 Thanksgivings ago. Storming of coarse. I start to drive my moms little 2 door, close to the floor, Benz and see water in the street up ahead. I'm about 5 blocks from dads. I wasn't sure how deep or far the water went but the closer I drove to the flood, the worse it looked. Sure enough, the water flooded up to 4 blocks from my dads and very, very deep. I have never seen it so bad. Peoples front lawns were under water. There was no way to drive it. Considering the fact that I would have given my left arm to not attend this dinner, I turned around and started driving home. Dad called and threatened. I had to turn around and try cuz everyone else made it. I parked the car away from the water and began walking. Soaked through in .5 seconds from the rain. The water got deeper and deeper. I lifted my pants but my shoes were already done for, completely submerged. 2 blocks in, the pants were the least of my worries. I was literally boob high in water. Dirty LI water. I tried to stick closer to the houses but its very hard to walk on front lawns with shrubbery when u cant see that stuff. I tripped and fell multiple times. 1 block to my dads, I literally had to start swimming to my dads house. SWIMMING TO THE HOUSE! The house itself is kinda on a hill so it wasn't under water and I slowly made my way up there. Talk about being spiteful... Once inside, my dad had given everyone clothes. They made it before it got too bad but I was pissed. Not as pissed as whatshisface though. He couldn't even handle sitting there for more then an hour. He stormed out freaking out about his car getting swept away. I mean, I cant really blame him but don't come in the first place!