How To Get A Free Hotel Room

Flashback: Driving cross country after a summer living in New Mexico. Going back to school with the then boyfriend (JC - code name of coarse) I had been living with. Nashville. After 5 hours of stand still traffic in which I had to pee but every time I left the car got stage fright, being in daylight with truckers and all, I was not a happy camper. We finally drive past the scene of the crime which had been a trailer home that flipped, puking all contents of someones home onto the highway and the ditch beside it. (I think the second weirdest thing I ever saw spillage wise was an entire truck of Red Bulls.) JC insisted on us staying in this fancy pants place we saw on the way down. The first thing I usually do out of habit is to go through every drawer in the room. This time, my tradition was delayed and instead I went to the bathroom ASAP. Once relieved, I began my habit. JC was now in the bathroom when I screamed after opening the first drawer. Next to the pocket Bible were condoms, a condom wrapper opened and empty, and two samples of lube, one was open and spewing ooze. Immediately ran down to the concierge who apologized, fired the housekeeper on the spot, and hooked us up with the ill room for free. Needless to say, I still didn't exactly sleep well that night.

Another reason I'm not such a fan of Nashville...after this whole incident, we went to get food but it was very late and most things were closed. White Castle to the rescue! JC ordered no onions and we checked to see before we drove off because based on our track record, chances were it had onions and sure enough, they did. We gave it back to the drive thru man and in front of our faces, opens the bag, takes each patty with his hands, wipes the onions off into the trash, and repackages them and hands them back to us with the straightest face. JC still ate them.