White Trash Astoria

It's kinda crazy that I only have two more weeks left to live in this apartment. I've been meaning to write about this block for a while. Somehow, Brie and I managed to live on the most white trash block in Queens. Just today I was walking home and there was a man in hunting gear showing off his prized killed deer in the back of his truck. (Reminds me of the time my hick neighbor in Ohio went missing for days only to return covered in blood from a hunting trip and dead meat dangling from his arm, bursting into my apartment.)

There is the frat a couple doors down. Every time you walk by, it smells like Sigma Chi's basement. I came to find out it is a father, son and daughter living there with some babies, perhaps a cousin or two, and friends. It was easy to tell that they were drug dealers because they are out there drinking and smoking 24/7 with people double parked suspiciously almost all the time. Nice guys once you realize they are just a bunch of losers. They are also kinda friendly with the half retarded man who lives on his mom's porch and hacks up his lungs at all hours of the clock cuz he can't stop smoking.

Next door is the blocks prized possession. "Living" with a man who smokes weed, blasts Led Zeppelin, and unloads empty Utz boxes every day, is the prostitute. She wears lucite heels, leggings, a shirt tied around her waist,some sort of shirt, her hair in a floppy bun held in with a scrunchy, and a bracelet made out of cardboard and 99cents labels. She sits on the street at early morning hours, to which I found out why. Turns out the neighbor lets her sleep there but kicks her out when he goes to work in the am. It's been confirmed by members of the block that she is indeed a hooker. We see her wondering around a lot, and sometimes on the bus. She has some sort of tick and one time I heard her screaming to some old couple who could have been a landlord of some type, that she goes to church every day and that's good enough for her and her sister is missing. Cool life.

Not that this has anything to do with my block per se but Rachel and I were walking home and just turned down my block and a white BMW pulled up to us. 4 white guys, maybe 20 years old, asked us for directions. I kinda thought something was up but everything next happened so fast. As Rachel walked up to them to help them out, the guy in the passenger seat grabbed the coffee and chucked it at Rachel's face. Some splattered on my and I looked at the ground to see that it was steaming hot coffee. Milk in it and everything. Rachel fortunately had enough time to turn and have it only hit the side of the body. Seriously, what the eff?! I really don't think they went out with the intention of doing this, cuz you wouldnt prepare it with milk and shit, but who the fuck does that? NOT FUNNY. That shit could have seriously burned us. And no, we weren't able to get a plate number.